I feel so small, so stupid,
I can't switch off the pain;
Images of fear reach out
To take control again.
Hands begin to tremble,
Mind becomes a blur;
Dizzy, sick, disabled,
I cannot find the cure.
Everything around me
Is a shadow from the past;
A tightened knot of feeling
Which will not let me pass.
It threatens to control me,
Take over my today;
Reaching to tomorrow
And back through yesterday ...
The house that was my prison,
The tree where I was raped;
The tea poured down my throat,
The gas tap by the grate.
And behind it all that shadow
Of my abuser of the past,
The man who raped and beat me
Built these images to last.
Copyright: Janine Harrington
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